The Woods, they are a confusing place. Bollywood is just a player in India’s massive cinema scene. Get the low down on Bollywood, Mollywood, Tollywood, and yes, even Kollywood. I am also including Lollywood (you heard me right) even though it is based in Pakistan, because there is nothing that can beat the old school Punjabi classics coming out of there.

LOLLYWOOD
Lollywood is arguably the most underrated film industry in this part of the world. There has never been the sleekness, sex-appeal, string of  “super-hits,” or the budget that Bollywood has had over the decades. But then again, it wasn’t funded by the Indian mafia either. During the 1960s, Indian entertainment in almost all forms were heavily censored, and in many cases, banned. This inevitably gave rise to blackmarket dvds, and radio programs playing bollywood dance numbers based out of Sri Lanka. These days, most Pakistanis (and Indians), as well as Desis the world over, get their hit of movies from Bollywood. But in its heyday, Lollywood made a string of the most awesome Punjabi films. Now Punjabi films are relegated to Sikhs from outside India, so you have a handful of Punjabi films with the same weepy storyline and the hero is a Punjabi singer with zero acting ability who is funding the production.

CHECK OUT:
Maula Jatt, which launched the careers of Sultan Rahi (the hero) and Mustafa Qureshi who plays the villain, Noori Natt. The storyline is simple. Maula Jatt is the hero. Noori Natt is the villain. He steals his woman. Maula Jatt kicks ass while wearing a loongi, carrying a gandasa, and gets his woman back with a lot of dishoon-dishoon, and some of the most awesome zingers in the world. There is also a lot of mustache tweaking. Here is the best fight scene you have ever seen: